This year is almost over (today is December 30th), and I was eating miso soup with mochi (brown rice cake) for breakfast, looking at the cloudy sky, and thinking about this year.
The weather report says it rains heavily on New Year’s Eve!
Ummmmm…can we go see our annual first sunrise of the year?
The year 2022 was said to be the year of passion in Kyusei Kigaku (Nine Star Ki-a popular system of astrology, often used alongside Feng shui), where I stand in the highest position of “summer” in the south, illuminated by light and gathering everyone’s attention and expectations.
I can see the goal of life in the brightness, my head and feelings are clear, and I can demonstrate the power of my birth star.
Certainly, this year I was able to hold five Bach Flower Remedy classes online for the first time and three seasonal outdoor medicinal herb workshops (selecting medicinal herbs based on the five elements of Yin and Yang, how to make remedies and taste them, how to grow them)at a garden center in my neighborhood. I was also given a lecture on how to make seasonal macrobiotic diets and cooking methods.
In addition, I studied one year course in “Cancer Care Herbology.”
I completed training for an international education instructor who can provide the certificate to students with the Bach Flower Foundation of the UK.
I was thrilled to hear that I was the first Japanese teacher of international education in North America.
I also offered online counseling, and as the covid virus was lowered, the clients could come directly to receive the healing session at my tiny healing studio.
Physically, it’s been 21 years since the terrible accident I had a near-death experience. I was diagnosed by a doctor that I could no longer walk. For the first year, I was bedridden. After that, I was in a wheelchair for three years. I went to physical therapy to try my best to walk. Two years later, I could walk with two canes. Another year later, I could walk without one cane and no more cane inside the house.
This year, for the first time, I was able to walk outside without a cane. I now walk one mile daily and take a short hike once a month without a cane.
The other day, I blurted out, “I want to participate in a marathon on foot oneday!”
I still have a big dream! Who knows, I may run someday!!!
Indeed, I started to see what I wanted and could do, and I began making plans for the first time in a long time.
For example, I love traveling, so going to Paris and Rome with Eric was on my bucket list for a long time. Hiking up to Mt. Fuji in Japan( this is just a dream, but I would love to revisit Mt. Fuji someday.)
In 2017, I was diagnosed with stage IV diffuse large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, fast-progressive cancer, with less than one month to live.
It has been a long, challenging recovery process. Six months of EPOCH chemotherapy (Red devil chemotherapy which was 24 hours for five days every three weeks) and macrobiotic cancer healing food helped, so I got remission miraculously after one year without any complications.
While I was sick, I could not do any things at home.
After I got better, I wanted to clean my art room, which my cats share.
It became a storage room, so I felt terrible for them, but I could not have enough strength and mood to do it since clearing the space somehow took so much of my emotional state.
Finally, two days ago, I felt suddenly I was in the mood to move things, clean them up, and organize the room.
I wish you saw my cats’ surprised eyes when they saw the room had lots of space for them to enjoy, haha!
I learned from my challenging life that there is no need to hurry and do what I can. It’s only natural that I have things to worry about, but when worrying things come to mind, I just deal with them like a cloud in the sky. I pay attention a little, so I worry a bit and just say, “See you later.” Why see you later? Because I know it will come back again like clouds in the sky.
So I acknowledge it – worry a little and learn to be happy.
This process has been helping me, so you might try it.
I always wanted to be or live with many people, like a community life.
I’m envious of the people who can live and do with many others together because it looks fun with a big family, but I realized that being with more than a few people is exhausting and losing my energy is too much for me.
The way for me to feel comfortable with my true self is to have creative time alone.
It does not mean I want to live totally alone and isolated. I love living with my dogs, cats, and plants/nature and am lucky to find another human I could live and marry.
So, since 2017, I’ve spent much time alone to heal myself from stage IV diffuse large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and my heart is calm even with the coronavirus pandemic from 2020 with my husband, animal family, and a garden full of my plants’ kids.
I admit that I’m moody, and my mood changes a lot. I learned to accept my mood.
It took a long time, but I want to work a little and do a lot of art, gardening, handcrafting, and making artisan foods, which makes little happiness for me.
Yuzu Kosho-ingredients that we used:
100g Yuzu zest
30g Japanese green chile pepper
40g sea salt
I will post a full recipe in New year!
Next year Kyusei Kigaku (Nine Star Ki), I will be in the middle of winter in the north, a year of rest, a year of long-term planning while reflecting.
I want to start and finish writing the next book I’ve always wanted to write.
And just like this year, I will continue to practice living a slow life, walk every day without a cane, have the compassion to notice when I’m tired, take a break, and start the new year with a vow to take care of myself.
I hope you find truthful yourself and have a wonderful New Year!
With gratitude and love,