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Kula, Golden Retriever’s 49th-Day Memorial

Kula came into my life when I was in my wheelchair in 2003 after I had a near-fatal car crash. Her mother, Kin, was my service dog. After Kin departed, I wished for Kula to be my service dog. She was a very shy and quiet puppy, so even during the two years that we took her to training, I was not sure if she could be a service dog. But she worked to build her confidence and passed the test.

Kula’s 49th-Day Gathering register desk with friends wishes for Kula.

Kula was the most gentle, smart and kind dog I’ve ever met. She became not only my service dog—opening the door, picking up things I dropped—but also my beloved dog daughter, who was there for me every day to enjoy her life with us. She loved going to the beach, on mountain hikes, swimming, diving into Manzanita Lake, and enjoying the snow. We had a beautiful life together for 13 years.

I felt much sadness after Kula departed on August 1, 2016.

I wanted to honor her life and process my grief and longing through a memorial gathering with my husband Eric and others who’d loved her all her life.

Kula used to go to senior homes, where she made many people happy, as well as to the Santa Monica Farmers Market, where she’d meet children and let them feed her organic apples.

Please read about her going to senior homes and Santa Monica Farmers Market on my blog.

This is the memorial card I made for the friends/guests with her favorite flowers: plumeria and white hibiscus.

Here is Kula’s photo album “Kula’s Beautiful Life”, which I made with Eric. It contains 84 pages and 214 photos.

We had 26 guests, and we got all kinds of great food (everything was vegan, except one dish). I made Kula’s favorite hijiki dish, and Eric made Kula Cake—vanilla flavor with almond cream.

These below photos were taking by our good friend, Claire Johnson.

Sanae (me) and Eric with Eric’s Kula Cake and all the potluck food!

Vadaka

Jeff and Phung and their daughter, Quyen and son, Khai with Kula’s sister, Oro, Jessica, Florence and Manuela…

Masano and Rin.

Sanae (me) and Allison with Kula’s nephew, Bubu

Michellee and her mom.

Sanae (me) with Kula’s dog family Health Happy Pooches (let to right Bubu, Happy, Oro, Leo and Lumi).

Sal & Mariko with Kula’s grand niece, Happy.

Stephanie, Sally, and Karin.

John, Carole, Manuela and Jessica…

Eric with powerful vegan ladies: Chef AJ, Armaiti, Shayda and Lisa

Michiyo, Dan, Masako and Yoko singing and dancing

Singing Kula’s Pacific Blue

Amanda

Michiyo & Dan

Everyone put incent for Kula.

Our friends/guests shared their wishes, thoughts, and love for Kula.

I sang “Kula’s Pacific Blue” (I changed the lyrics) with Eric’s ukulele, accompanied by Dan How, our ukulele teacher.

I was nervous and made mistakes—you can see how I sang—but it was from my heart, and I really want to share it with everyone.The video was posted by Kula and our friend Chef AJ on Facebook.

Claire and I were able to retrieve it and post on Youtube so you can watch it and remember we had a fun and good memorial for Kula.

Kula’s Pacific Blue!

As I said in this video, animals have feelings and emotions, just like humans. Honoring their lives and holding memorial services help us to experience healthy grieving and learn how to be good humans.

With gratitude and love of light,

Sanae 💖

Kula, Golden Retriever Life With Her Cancer, Part 5: Keeping Healthy Gums

After Kula was diagnosed with spleen cancer she was not able to walk so I decided to do all-holistic bodywork to help her walk again.

Morning body routine before morning remedy drink and/or breakfast:
1. Massage her gums
2. Body scrub
3. Shiatsu
4. Do-in exercise

I felt that massaging Kula’s gums were important, since she had abuses on her left-side gums, as you can see in the photo. Her gum area was discharging pus. Holistic veterinarian Dr. Lane showed me how to make a gum rinse formula with green tea and myrrh essential oil (which is very good for gums and can also be used as a mouthwash to help eliminate dental infections) and massaged her gums with loquat tea (made from loquat leaf) and sea salt every day.

Here I am showing photos of Kula’s abscess how it got better.

Holistic veterinarian Dr. Lane is disinfecting Kula’s abscess on May 27, 2016

Kula’s abscess gum on May 30, 2016

Kula abscess gum on June 3, 2016

Kula’s abscess on July 15, 2016

Recipe

For dogs:
1 cup green tea or loquat leaf tea
2 drops myrrh essential oil (if for cats, I just use sea salt, since cats are very sensitive to essential oil)

For people:
1 cup green tea or loquat leaf tea

4–5 drops myrrh essential oil

Loquat leaf and the tea and myrrh essential oil with a soft gum brush

Use a very soft, small toothbrush. If you want to, you can use your finger (usually index).

Photo: Toothbrush and loquat leaf

In this video, I am massaging Kula’s gums.

Wishing healthy gums and teeth for your dog and you!
Love, Sanae 💖

Kula, Golden Retriever, Life with Her Cancer Part 3

Life is so precious.

My dog daughter Kula’s life has been very simple, but she enjoyed every day to the fullest even after her spleen cancer spread to lungs.

I asked her recently why she can be so patient and kind to everyone even after getting cancer…she said without any hesitation,

“Why? Because life is so precious, don’t you know mommy? Every day is never exactly the same. I love each day that the sun comes up in the morning, no matter what. Sometimes the sun is not showing the face, but I feel the existence of the sun every day, and the sunlight makes me feel so good. That’s why I really enjoyed you and papa Eric taking me to see the New Year sunrise in the mountains every year.

Kula enjoys New Year sunrise so much every year!

“I also love feeling the breeze coming into the room when you open the window first thing in the morning. I love fresh air so much. That’s why I love going to the beach whenever you were able to take me. After I stretch you take me out to the yard, and each time it smells different, believe it or not. I enjoy relaxing while you make breakfast with the music you play from your iTunes, YouTube or Spotify. I love your choice of music most of the time, but I love your singing even more and your dancing. My food is always freshly made and organic, and it smells so delicious and tastes super yummy. Since I got cancer you not just prepared a healing delicious food, but started to give me a body scrub and shiatsu massage which felt so good, then finishing up with Do-in excise which was fun and stimulating. You are the best caretaker, but you are of course my mommy! Also, please let papa Eric know that he was the best papa and his ukulele music heals my soul every time he played and I love him with all my heart and more than going to beach!”

Eric plays ukulele for us!

“I love watching doves and hummingbirds in the yard after breakfast and taking naps whenever I want. I love you and papa Eric for taking care of me like I am the most precious dog in the world. Papa Eric carried me when I was not able to walk and cuddled with me when I was having a fever.”

“I love my animal family – My half sister Oro respects me so much as her big sister, so we never had an augment, and I will miss her a lot. Leo cares and worries with his eyes about me as Oro’s partner. Bubu is a great nephew who never bothered me and gave me space, but he was there for me always. Lumi, my niece and also my sister Dore in her previous her life, tries to play with me everyday and it’s fun playing with her, even though sometimes she is too frisky for my age. My great niece Happy who is so cute and beautiful, but she does not know how beautiful she is so she is insecure like I used to be. I appreciate TinTin the boy cat who comes to check on me and talks so much to me since I am a pretty quiet dog and therefore a good listener, and MaiMai the girl kitty sleeps in the same room every night when I have a fever and have to sleep in the back room with mommy. I never thought that I can be the leader of a family of eight, but after my big sister Dore was killed in a hit-and-run car accident, and my Kin mama was so sad that she left us 10 days after Dore, I had to learn to accept the role of leader of our pack quickly. It was not easy and I may not be a good leader like Kin mama, being around so many dog-and-cat-facilities. Thanks to mommy for taking animal communication classes so we were able to communicate better and papa Eric for taking his time to slow down and understand his animal family.”

Kula in the front middle with her dog family

“I also need to let you know how much I love road trips since you and papa Eric took me to Quebec and Nova Scotia when I was 8 weeks old. I remember my first and last experience chasing roosters in Eric papa’s uncle’s yard. It was so much fun! Since that trip, the car became my second home.”

Kula with her sister, Dore & mama Kin and Me in St. Luce, Quebec 2003

Kula on her favorite diving rock at Manzanita Lake in North Fork

Watch Kula’s amazing diving at Manzanita Lake on Youtube.

“Going to North Fork and swimming and diving at Manzanita lake was one of my most favorite things, as was going to Farmers Market and seeing all the children and adults who pet me; visiting Leyla the apple vendor, who always gave me my favorite Fuji apple; meeting people at Seed Kitchen; talking to people at the bookstore; going to the senior home to put a smile on the residents’ faces; hiking with mommy who was able to walk farther every time we went. On the last hike in March, she hiked faster than me – I thought I was getting too old, but I think I was getting sick already.”

At Santa Monica Farmers market with Leyla and kids who love Kula so much

Kula at senior home as a therapy dog

“I can tell you more and more, but you kind of get the idea why I love my life so much and have no reason to complain.”

“Life is so precious, and true happiness is not about how much money you make or how famous or how popular you become, or how big a house your live in, or how many amazing places you travel to. I have a great family and loving home and just enjoy whatever comes because everything changes. I have learned it from you, mommy because you have limited mobility from the leg injury from the car crash, but you always find something in life to enjoy, and you taught me each day how precious life is.”

Dore(left – Kula’s sister), Kula and thrie mama Kin with me in my wheelchair

”I thank you and papa Eric so much for giving me such a wonderful life. I was born in this house in Santa Monica, and I know that I will depart from this house to go to heaven. Mommy, you helped me to arrive in this life and I know you are going to help me to depart also. I trust you, and I know you trust me so when the time is right I will be departing soon.”

“I will miss your hugs, kisses, and our conversations, but I will be always with you no matter what. I trust that we will see each other again.”

Kula was a big sweetheart, and she has been truly our angel. I thank her everyday for her life of 13 years. She always put her paws to my face or arm to be connected, and I showered her with kisses and hugs whenever she needed to sleep with me when she was lonely and tired.

Kula with her favorite Hawaiian flower, plumeria (Kula’s name is Hawaiian – meaning “gold”) This is the last photo I took of her as my model. She was already subdued so she told me that she could not smile for the photo, but asked me to take as a Hawaiian girl.

This conversation with her made me cry. I thanked her again and told her to promise that when she wants to depart I will be there with her, as I always will be in her heart.

She got my message and she departed the next day, on Aug. 1, 2016, at 5:45pm in my arms, on her own will. After her departure, her face looked very peaceful, as though she was smiling. when I put her on her bed she looked like she was just sleeping. I put plumeria flowers next to her. Kula’s holistic vet. Dr. Lane and her husband Patric came to pick her up and she was cremated with her plumeria flowers at Los Angels Pet Memorial Park, SOHIE Kula was cremated on Aug. 3, 2016 at 9am.

Eric and I have been crying and missing her so much, but we are so grateful to have been her human parents and proud of everything she did and who she was for us and others.

I created a temporary altar to place her ashes when she comes home.

Kula’s altar waiting for her ashes to come back home

While I was creating the altar, Lumi, who played with Kula everyday, just came and lay there like she knew that Kula’s spirit was there.

Lumi lays by the Kula’s altar

Then all the rest of Kula’s dog family came and sat there. They are so sad and missing Kula so much!

Kula’s dog family all came to Kula’s altar

They miss Kula so much, but the same time feel her spirit! Now they are teaching me that Life is so precious!

Thank you for reading this blog, and please share it because life is so precious.

Love, Sanae 💖

Kula, Golden Retriever, Life with Her Cancer Part 1

Kula is a golden retriever and service/therapy dog.

She has been raised on organic homemade foods（Healthy Happy Pooch) in natural environments of no chemical or GMO with her family of five dogs and two cats.

Kula in the center of front row

Since she was a puppy, Kula has been a smart and lovable dog with a gentle, kind and calm soul. As a service dog, she has been making everybody smile during her visits to senior homes and the Santa Monica Farmers Market for many years. She has also supported me while I had to use a wheelchair and canes to walk after a near-fatal car accident. Her nature is a bit shy and quiet, but she has been fulfilling her role as a good service/therapy dog, as well as a beloved member of our family, with her unconditional love.

Kula at Santa Monica Farmers Market

After her 13^th birthday on May 16, 2016, she had her annual check up. She had started limping. Her holistic veterinarian doctor Sally Lane told us that Kula does not seem to have any bone problem causing the limping, but her blood test shows that she has anemia and internal bleeding. We were referred to an animal special internal medicine hospital for an ultrasound and x-ray test. On May 18, 2016, we were shocked to learn that Kula has spleen cancer, “Hemangiosarcoma.”

Hemangiosarcoma of the spleen is highly metastatic and malignant vascular neoplasms-tumors in the blood vessels that arise from the endothelial cells – the cells that line the interior surface of blood vessels. It is an aggressive, malignant tumor of blood vessel cells. Kula’s cancer had already spread to her both lungs. Usually, hemangiosarcoma can be successfully treated by surgical removal of the tumor. Chemotherapy is often used in addition to surgical excision if the veterinarian was not able to remove the entire tumor or it has penetrated into the subcutaneous tissue or muscles below the skin. Radiation therapy is also used to treat dermal hemangiosarcoma. In Kula’s case, since it had already spread to the lungs, surgery was not recommended. Dr. Hadar of the special internal medicine hospital told me that Kula’s life span will be 2 weeks to 2 months.

Kula was so happy to see Dr. Lane

As I wrote in my blog about her diagnosis on May 29, 2016, I was so sad and did not know what to think in the beginning, but I realized that it is not the time for me to feel bad because Kula is still with us, and she is still enjoying eating her healing food, being outside and watching the hummingbirds every evening, and going on walks whenever she can, and moving her tail when greeting people who come to our house.

It has been 2 months since Kula was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma. I have been using all of my knowledge as an of whole health macrobiotic counselor and nutritionist and getting help from Dr. Lane, Dr. May and animal communicator Lydia Hiby. I have read many books, blogs, and Internet information about hemangiosarcoma.

Cause of dog cancer factors that I found:

Carcinogens & toxins found in commercially manufactured foods
Indigestible and other “non-species appropriate” ingredients
Malnutrition, due to malabsorption, from an inappropriate diet
Lack of whole food sources and variety
Environmental pollutants, especially herbicides/weed killers, and flea/tick products
Too many vaccinations
Breed Genetics & immune system dysfunction

Dr. Lane (my main holistic vet) and Dr. Hadar ( a conventional vet of the special internal medicine hospital) both said since five of Kula’s brothers died from cancer at a much younger age, and most golden retrievers get cancer because of a genetic propensity, Kula may have succumbed to that. I also believe that Kula’s case the vaccinations and flea/tick controls products I have given when she was younger when I did not know much about how much the vaccinations and flea/tick controls products affected dog’s health.

I was surprised to found out that many dogs who had Hemangiosarcoma and had surgery did not live much longer (average was two months), so it may be the best thing that Kula could not have surgery, like me.

Since I did not have any experience of counseling clients who had spleen cancer, I decided to talk to my friend, Mr. Isogai, who is a macrobiotic counselor in Japan with experience of macrobiotic healing counseling for over 6000 people. He does not have much experience with animals, but I was able to receive confirmation and gather some information from his experiences which I could apply to Kula.

What I have learned from my research and from Mr. Isogai enabled me to complement the macrobiotic approach with Chinese herbal medicines, acupuncture treatments, and my intuition from communicating with Kula every day. Kula’s cancer is a yang cancer like ovarian cancer I had in 1993. Kula’s cancer spread to her lungs, so it also had yin cancer energy. I needed to focus on making her food more yin – soft and naturally sweet food for the spleen – and at the same time food that would abate the yin energy for the lungs.

Kula eating her healing food

Kula is better overall and stabilized, so she is walking short distances on her own, except when climbing stairs. She has an appetite most of the time. She has high fever time to time so I have been very careful what to do when she has a high fever.

Kula had fever (covering cold towels)

I make special healing homemade food, combining the foods she likes to eat so that she will want to eat more. She is no longer eating the same foods she was eating before, such as raw food. If she does not like the food she will spit it out to let me know that I need to come up with the recipe that she likes and will enjoy especially when she has high fever. If your dog gets sick, it is normal for her or him to not want to eat as before, so we must make adjustments to whet the appetite.

Kula is standing her own and eating her food

Here is the list of what I have been doing for Kula:

1.Macrobiotics

1) Healing food for spleen and lung cancer (also when she has high fever)

2) Healing Beverage

3) Massage her gums

4) Body scrub

5) Do-in exercise

6) Shiatsu

7) Remedy drinks

8) External remedy

2. Chinese herbal medicines for her spleen cancer, lungs, and blood builders provide by Dr. Lane

3. Homeopathy medicine

4. Bach Flower remedies

5. Essential oils

6. Acupuncture by Dr. Lane and Dr. May

7. Reiki

8. Moxibustion

9. Healing music

10. Healing power stone necklace and bracelets

11. Positive enforcement words

12. Manifesting “Arigatou” chanting

13, Animal Communication

Kula likes Lotus Remedy Drink

As you can see my day is pretty full. I need to organize my day and monitor Kula and at the same time enjoy my day, practicing my meditation, yoga; keep up my work for Seed Kitchen’s business, teaching, counseling people and dogs/cats; and spend time with my friends and family, consisting of my husband Eric and five other dogs and two cats.

Kula with her family

It is surely a challenge to take care of Kula’s condition.
Perhaps it is not easy to keep a balance, but because of Kula’s cancer I am more focused, and I feel so satisfied to be able to do what I can for her in the midst of my hectic daily routine.
I am grateful to Kula, who gives and teaches me unconditional love every day.

Love,

Sanae

Wedding Anniversary

Usually we celebrate our wedding anniversary by going someplace special and exchanging traditional anniversary gifts, followed by dinner at the Shutters hotel, where we had our wedding dinner with family and close friends in 2004.
This year, we felt we should do something different.

Our eldest dog, Kula, was diagnosed with spleen cancer last month (I wrote about her here, with two weeks to two months to live. So, we wanted to take a video of how I have been taking care of her every day. The first one shows me giving her shiatsu and Do-in exercise. I posted it on Facebook and got more than 1,700 views in one day, so I also posted it on YouTube to help other dogs.

It was a wonderful way to start our wedding anniversary. This marks 12 years, for which the traditional gift is silk/linen or pearls, but we broke the traditional gift exchange by giving each other stand-up paddle boards (SUP) and going paddling in Marina del Rey with our dog Lumi. Eric found two used SUP boards at a reasonable price on Craigslist, and it was in Manhattan Beach, so we decided to drive there as our wedding anniversary event. They were the perfect size, so we got them and went to Marina del Rey with Lumi right away. They were sturdy boards and heavy, so it was not easy for Eric to put them on his car, but he is such a strong guy!

It was a great day for us to go all the way out by the Burton Chace Park area to paddle. I wish we had photos to show you, but we were too busy paddling. Lumi was good at balancing, and popular with everyone who passed us, since she was so cute in her life jacket. I think I did pretty well, too, for a beginner; I did not fall at all. It was an absolutely different anniversary than usual, and we enjoyed it so much. Here is a photo that a woman from Sweden took of us.

We learned that day that it is all right to break tradition, as long as we are enjoying our lives together and still celebrating our special anniversaries!

Happy Anniversary to anyone celebrating also!

Love, Sanae

Life is a Balance of Yin and Yang – Pray fro Kula!人生は陰と陽のバランス – クラのために祈って下さい。

Life surely is a balance between yin and yang-light and shadow. I have had higher highs and lower lows in my life. Many times tragedy struck when I least expected it.

These are a just a few.
I met Eric while I was going through a divorce from my first husband. Eric was working overseas so we kept in touch by phone or/and fax, since this was before we used the internet. I was happy that he moved to Santa Monica the following year as we started to enter a deeper level in our relationship. Then I got ovarian cancer in 1993.
In 2001, after I had started a career as a certified macrobiotic counselor, I had a near-fatal car accident in the Arizona dessert on my way from taking classes at the Kushi Institute. I was also ready to marry Eric after being together for 10 years, but when I awoke from my coma, I found out that he was about to break up with me.
In 2006, my first service/therapy dog, Kin had a litter, and I learned that my mother passed away suddenly after battling a long illness, from an asthma attack.
Eric and I were working hard to fulfill our dream of opening Seed restaurant, when one of our dogs, Dore, was killed in a hit and run accident. Ten days later her mother Kin died suddenly in 2008.

Now, my beloved dog Kula (she is Kin’s daughter and Dore’s sister), who had joyously just turned 13 last week, is stricken with spleen cancer.
We took her to her annual checkup and blood test and found out she has internal bleeding, so we had to take her to a special internal medicine animal hospital to get an ultrasound and x-ray. I was fervently praying that it was nothing serious, but she was diagnosed with spleen cancer, which had already spread to her lungs. I knew she lost some muscle around her hip area last month after injuring her leg and not walking as much, but it was not her leg injury that was causing her muscle loss. I also noticed one night that her tummy was bigger than usual, so I was concerned, but a few days later I did not notice it as much, so I thought she must have eaten too much. At her age she has a good appetite and enjoys meeting people at Farmers Market every Saturday, and still visits senior homes as a therapy dog.

Kula at a senior home as a service dog on May 26, 2016

I asked myself that what did I do wrong?
Why didn’t I take her for a checkup when I noticed her tummy was bigger?
Why didn’t I catch when her condition change?

The questions kept haunting me.

Kula with Dr. Lane

I talked to three vets (two holistic vets and one conventional). Dr. Lane (my main holistic vet) and Dr. Hadar (conventional vet) both said since five of her brothers died from cancer at a much younger age, and most golden retrievers get cancer because of a genetic propensity, Kula may have succumbed to that. Kula still has a good appetite, and she enjoys her life without reserve, so the chemical free and GMO plant-based homemade food has kept her from losing her appetite and retreating from a normal life. Dr. Hadar, who performed the ultrasound and x-ray, told me that Kula will live a few weeks to two months. I was too shocked to hear about it. As I am writing this I am not able to accept it and numb from the sudden prospect of losing Kula, but I know in my heart that Kula needs me to focus on her healing, not on my feelings of guilt or grief. She is eating, doing her best and not giving up on her life.

Kula with her 13th birthday gift of new bed

Kula loves her 13th birthday gift of her new bed!

I have been studying animal communication, so I talked to her about her cancer. She said “I am not feeling pain, but sometimes I feel more tired, so I thought I was just getting old. I still enjoy my life and now I have more time to be with you so I am not worried. Please don’t worry, because then I will worry about you. I enjoy my short walks, going to Santa Monica Farmers Market and seeing Leyla the apple vendor and all of the children who come to pet me and feed me snacks of organic Fuji apples (she only likes Fuji apples). I also love visiting our neighbor Nancy and going to a senior home as a service/therapy dog.”

Kula at Santa Monica Farmers Market

When I asked her if I can share her story, she said “ Mommy, do you need to ask me that? You wrote Healthy Happy Pooch book so that you can share with others what you thought was best for you against all odds and wanted others to benefit from what you experienced and learned. I trust you to do the same and help other dogs and dog’s family go through tough times the best way they can, through my story and photos.” She made me feel that I have been loved by her so much that I can’t even express with words. She also talked to my animal communicator teacher, Lydia Hiby and she is not ready to leave so soon and she really enjoys her life and appreciates everything she has been receiving from us and other five dogs and two kitty family are very understanding her condition and caring what she is going through.

I was so sad when I found out about her cancer and did not know what to say.
This is unbearably difficult for me, but being in denial is not going to help anything or anyone, so I am accepting my fear, sadness and mental suffering so that I can go on with my daily ritual of getting up in the morning, appreciating my life and Kula’s life and her courage, kindness and beautiful soul.

Please pray for her to fulfill her life and miraculous recover from this cancer one day at a time.

Kula is enjoying being on the deck after dinner.

Kula enjoys being on the deck after dinner.

I am making special remedy drink and healing food for her. I also give her body scrub, shiatsu, Reiki, moxibustion and more.
I want to share what I am doing to help her through this healing journey whenever I can.

I appreciate so much for all of your support and prayer for Kula.
Love and healing for Kula,
Sanae

人生は光と影、陰と陽のバランス。
今までいろんなことがあった。悲しいことは思ってもいないときにやってくる。

エリックに知り合ったのは、前夫との離婚をすすめていた時、海外で仕事をしていた彼と連絡をインターネットがない時代、電話かFAXでしていた。次の年にエリックがサンタモニカに引っ越ししてとても喜んでいたのにその後、自分が卵巣癌だと告知された１９９３年。

２００１年、マクロビオティックカウンセラーになる資格を修得するためにマサチューセッツにあるクシ・インスティテュート行った帰りにアロゾナの砂漠で臨死体験をするほどの酷い車の事故にあった。出会って１０年以上経っていたが、丁度、この事故をする前にやっとエリックとの結婚へのこころの準備が出来ていたのだが、エリックはもう別れることを決意していたと昏睡状態から戻って聞かされた。

２００６年、私の始めてのサービス・セラピードッグ、キンが子犬を産んだ日に母が昔から患っていた喘息で急に亡くなったと知らされた。

エリックと私は一生懸命働いてSeed レストランをオープンする夢を実現させようとしていた時に愛犬ドレちゃんが自宅のすぐ横の裏道で車にひき逃げされて亡くなってしまい、その後、１０日後に母親のキンが急に亡くなってしまった、２００８年。

そして、今回は、大好きなクラちゃん（キンの娘でドレちゃんの妹）が楽しい１３歳のバースデーを過ごしたブログを２週間前に書きましたが、クラちゃんは１３歳の健康診断に行って血液検査の結果、内臓出血をおこしているとわかった。その後、内科専門の犬猫病院でいろんなテストをして脾臓のガンと告知され、ショックで何も考えられない１週間が過ぎてしまった。

何か自分の育て方に落ち度があったのか？
お腹のところに何かあるのを見たときにすぐ検査に行かなかったからか？
なぜ、もっと早く気が着いてあげなかったのかと何回もいろんなことを責めている自分に気がついた。

内科専門の犬猫病院のドクターハダーさんと、主治医のホリスティック・ドクターレインさんからゴールデンリトリバーは、ガンになる確率が高い犬種で、またクラちゃんブラザーの８匹中５匹がガンで若い時に亡くなっているから原因は遺伝と思われると言われた。手作りのドッグフードでずっと育ててきたからクラちゃん１３歳まで病気もしないて元気で生きられたんだと言って下さった。ドクターハダーさんは、クラちゃんは後、２週間から２ヶ月の命だろうとも宣告した。
ショックで何も考えられない、こうしてブログを書きながらも受け入れられないでいる心の表面は麻痺した状態を感じる。でもね、恐々、心の奥深いところを覗くとクラちゃんが私を必要としているのを感じる。罪悪感で自分を責めたり悲しんでいる場合ではない。クラちゃんはまだよく食べているし、ヒーリングフードに変えてからもちゃんと食べて、生きる気力をまだまだ捨てていないで一生懸命頑張ってる。

海が大好きなクラちゃん

昨年からアニマルコミュニケーションの勉強をしているので、クラちゃんとこのガンのことを話してみた。クラちゃんは、「痛くないよ。ただ疲れやすくなったのを感じてたから、初めは年を老いたからだと思ってた。まだ、楽しいことあるし、このことで、ママと一緒にもっといられるからクラは嬉しいから心配してないよ。ママ、心配しないでね。ママが心配するとクラも心配するから。短い散歩、サンタモニカのファーマーズ・マーケットに行って、オーガニックりんごを売っている、レイラに会って、リンゴを買いに来る子供たちと一緒にフジりんごを食べるのも楽しいし、近所のナンシーさんのところに遊びに行ったり、老人ホームにサービス・セラピードッグとして行くのも楽しいよ。」と言って、私が、今回のことをみんなにシェアーしてもいいか聞いたら「ママ、今更何を言ってるの？ママはみんなのヘルプが出来るようにヘルシーハッピープーチの本を書いたんでしょ。もしクラが他の犬たちとその家族のためになるなら、写真も今までのように撮ってね。」と言って私を励ましてくれた。自分がこんなにクラちゃんに愛されて支えられていると再確認して感謝の気持ちいっぱいで言葉にもできませんでした。

私のアニマルコミュニケーションの先生のリディア・ヒビーさんにもクラちゃんと話してもらったら、クラちゃんは痛みはなくって、まだまだ逝く気はない、今までの幸せな彼女の犬生に感謝している。他の犬とネコの家族もみんな理解してくれているから安心しているって言ったそうです。
クラちゃんがガンになったと知って悲しくって誰にも何もすぐ言えなかった。耐えられないような苦しみを感じてしまったけど、この気持ちを否認していたのでは、本当にクラちゃんを癒してあげられないから、どんなに苦しくても怖くて悲しくても正直な自分の気持ちを認めて毎日、クラちゃんのために早く起きて、まず自分の人生とクラちゃんの優しくって勇気ある素晴らしい魂に感謝して１日を始めてます。

どうぞ、みなさん、クラちゃんが彼女の命を1日でも長く全うできるため、ガンが奇跡で治るように祈ってあげて下さい。お願いします！

クラちゃんの癒しのレメディードリンク、癒しの食事を作って、ボディースクラブ、指圧、レイキ、温灸などを毎日してあげてます。時間ができたら、クラちゃんにしてあげている癒し療法をシェアーしますね。

愛とクラちゃんを癒すために…

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