
It has been over two weeks since the most devastating wildfires in Los Angeles. My heart goes out to people affected by the wildfire.
I appreciate all of you contacting me and showing your concerns. Eric and I are safe with five dogs and two cats’ family here in Santa Monica.
Although we did not have actual fire damage, I have been emotional and feeling fear. I wrote this blog to move forward in response to the fear of this wildfire and my sad feelings.
The fire occurred on Tuesday, January 7th, around 10:20 am.
That day, I left home at 8:40 am and went to a Qigong class.
I had a habit of looking at the sky, and I remembered it was blue, so I was grateful as I walked.
After the class, I was at home making a sample for the Sashiko Workshop; Eric phoned me and told me about the wire.
I asked Eric, is it close?
He said it was Pacific Paracede, about 11 miles from our house.
I went outside and saw the gray-pinkish big smoke over the north side of our house.
I noticed the wind started to get so intense, and our trees in the garden were swinging like children’s parks. It was a twisting swing I never saw before. The wind got so bad it broke the branches of the trees as they twisted off. We could not sleep that night, watching the news all the time and checking Watch Duty – Wildfire Maps & Alerts
When the second area of Santa Monica received mandatory evacuation (about 3 miles from our house), we packed our passports and some of our belongings, set up a large cat crate with a litter box for cats and dog beds in the van, and got ready to evacuate.
Seeing the smoke and flame from the rooftop of our house, I let out a speechless scream.
The next day, amidst the black smoke, the sun was dyed red, which I had never seen in my life. I had to face the horrors of reality.
When the news showed about 12,000 houses were burned down, I felt like I was just staring at the screen in a daze, unable to believe it, as if I was watching the devastation of war.
Finding out some of our friends lost their houses in the wildfire and some are still evacuating made us feel such sad and heavy feelings.
My heart hurts when I think about how long everyone has to go.
We meditated more to send love and compassion to these people. We also did what we could by making donations, but I felt helpless.
In the meantime, we cared for ourselves to find even the slightest joy and happiness.
I can’t ignore the indescribable emotions that can’t be put into words in the air.
Over the first weekend of Eric’s day off, we escaped the smoky air and went to Santa Barbara’s dog beach.
Last week, we celebrated Lumi’s 15th birthday. It lifted up our spirits! Thank Lumi so much for her strength to live!
Today, I’m listening to Cheri Huber’s audiobook “The Fear Book” as I prepare material kit for my first sashiko workshop at JACCC this weekend. I hope the Sashiko workshop helps people heal during challenging times.
What fear is (from Cheri Huber’s book)
…fear is the hunted, not the hunter.
Fear is not what you think it is.
…..Fear is a very useful signal along the path to freedom.
Cheri Huber’s Free Audiobook site