New Year Goals – Ink Making

January is the time for me to write down my goals for the new year.

I have been going to see New Year Sunrise to worship it on New Year’s Day for about 30 years.

I plan my new year goals according to the lunar calendar, so I spend the time until the Lunar New Year in February with an awareness of what I want to do in the New Year.

January is the perfect time to start writing down what’s on my mind, what I am thinking, and what I am feeling. I like writing down my goals and what I can accomplish.

Review what I wrote last year and see what I accomplished and didn’t.

If I had a goal that I couldn’t achieve last year, look at it honestly and think about whether I want to work towards the same goal this year.

Sometimes, my interests and feelings change, and I don’t continue. It’s a good experience to accept things and my changes and not judge them.

One of my goals in 2024 is to “Learn How to Make Ink” with natural materials by taking a workshop at Maiwa School of Textiles with TIM McLAUGHLIN.

 

Why did I decide to take this workshop as my New Year goal?

Well, something happened when I was five, and my parents changed the kindergartens I was going to. There was a famous Japanese calligraphy “Shodo” master who was the younger brother of the director of the new kindergarten I started attending.

I began learning Japanese calligraphy, “Shodo,” under this master.

At the beginning of the classes, I had learned how to make Sumi ink and doodling with a Japanese Calligraphy brush.

For some reason, I liked mixing Sumi ink stick with water and rubbing it by hand on an ink-stone.
I forget how much time passed when I was rubbing the Sumi ink stick, and my teacher sometimes came to check on me and said, “Are you ready to dip your brush in Sumi ink?”

Maybe I was in a zen state even at a young age, hahaha!
It could be because the scent of Sumi ink and the sound of Sumi ink rubbing the Suzuri (Inkstone) relaxed me.

I discovered that I could make Sumi ink darker than midnight color and Sumi ink color to match dawn, which was closer to gray.

The color of the Sumi ink changed depending on the movement of my hand and the vibration of my feelings. 

Slowly moving my hands and making ink gave “the shy little Sanae” confidence and helped her calm down.

There was a time when my teacher encouraged me to exhibit many of my works in calligraphy exhibitions at art museums, and I won numerous awards.

Japanese Calligraphy “Shodo” – 「Nintai」English meaning Patience I did for a friend request

 

Then, when I was in elementary school, I noticed that my father used fountain pens, and I was drawn to them so much. I remember buying my first fountain pen when I was 13 years old.

I wanted to find my favorite color of ink for my fountain pen. 

Green ink was the color for me!

After finding green ink, I sent postcards and requested songs every week to the late-night radio program “Ama-chin’s Young Request” in my hometown of Nagoya.

I could request songs over the phone, but since so many people were calling, I couldn’t always get through, so I sent postcards. 

I am sure I was spending more time writing these postcards than studying for school.

I used my pen name, “Green Puff” (this name came from the popular Japanese cotton facial puff name Clean Puff) because I used a green ink fountain pen, and it sounded cute.

Since everyone sent postcards with a ballpoint pen and no one sent them with fountain pens and colored ink, especially green, DJ Ama-chin chose my card every week and played my favorite songs. It was a sweet memory I almost forgot.

 

September 8th, 2001, I had a near-death experience in a car accident with severe injuries, and the doctors told me I would not be able to walk anymore. You might be able to imagine how much I struggled for a long time. I was bedridden for one year, painful physical therapy, and learned to live a wheelchair life.

One day, right after I learned to use my wheelchair, I went to orientation for disabled people’s public city van. I met a woman whose name was Evie, and she introduced me to taking a pen calligraphy class at Emeritus at Santa Monica College. This story you can read here.

Although it is different from Japanese calligraphy, I thought the attitude of preparation and writing was similar. 

It calms the mind and makes the atmosphere quiet.

While I practice calligraphy, I notice my dogs ​​and cats family all relax.

One of my calligraphy and drawing of Lindisfarne Gospel from my practice notebook.

 

I continue to practice pen calligraphy, and a few years ago, I was able to write my own haiku in pen calligraphy and submit “Lotus” with a watercolor hanga print as my first artwork for the college art show.

It reminded me of the old days when I was entering my “Shodo” Calligraphy yo the museum.

So, even though I was disable I still could create art.

 

There is one more thing, which is ever since I mixed ink colors at Kakimori’s Inkstand in Tokyo in 2019 after undergoing six cycles of Chemotherapy to treat Stage IV Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cancer when I was diagnosed with “Only Weeks to Live” in 2017. (you can read it here)

The Inkstand had ten basic colors to create/mix many colors, and I was fascinated to create three different colors of my own. 

 

I was also interested in whether there was a way to make ink (not just mixing) using natural dye materials. 

I was excited to learn that Maiwa School of Textile was offering “The Ink Making Workshop.”

I want to make my original “ink” colors someday and hope to be able to create new calligraphy art for college art exhibitions.

 

So, these are the reasons why I have made “Learn How to Make My Ink” one of my goals for 2024.

It is a seven-week workshop and it has just started.
The first week was Introduction and Module 1, in which I learned what materials and supplies I needed to prepare for making ink.
I am someone who loves glassware; my excitement grew when I saw that the list included glasses such as beakers, flasks, and cylinders.
I liked the fact that I could use rainwater to make ink.
The perfect timing is that it had been raining the last few days here, so I corrected the rainwater.

Raindrops over holiday poinsettia.

 

This weekend, I got all the materials and supplies to start making Gum Arabic Solution and Shellac Solution.
Doesn’t these glass containers remind you of a chemistry class?

 

Making Gum Arabic Stock Solution was like making almond milk late and took only a little time.
Shellac Stock Solution was like making caramel syrup first.
The instructor, Tim, said,” It would take one hour to make,” but it took me almost two hours. I think my bath water to melt Shellac was not deep enough, so I will know the next time.
Anyway, I enjoyed a slow pace on Sunday time to complete it.

This workshop has been much more exciting than I expected so far.
I can’t wait to make my original color ink.


I look forward to posting more photos on my Instagram and Facebook and writing about them on my blog again after I learn.

 

Love,

Sanae ❤️

My New Path…

Writing makes me feel most connected with my soul.
But I was not able to write for over one year.

When I was going through challenging times, I usually write my journals.

After I was diagnosed with only weeks live with Stage IV Lymphoma Non-Hodgkin of the liver in the spring of 2017.
(I wrote about it on https://www.sanaesuzuki.com/2017/06/08/only-weeks-to-live/)

Holistic medicine and macrobiotic healing foods were not helping to shrink cancer as before because the cancer was spreading too fast. Hence, I decided to take chemotherapy to save my life. The pain of the liver got worst, and I was not able to bear. All I could do was closing my eyes, breathing, and lying down every day. The nights I could not sleep, I just laid and wrote often and posted my blogs and sent newsletters to link in with my friends and people who were supporting me. The writing was also a way to protect me from my loneliness and fear.

After completed six cycles of chemotherapy, I was getting better physically slowly, and  I started to do a few things that I could not do while I was in chemo. Then, I did more and more physical work, and I lost the time to write.

I have been posting Instagram and Facebook with short descriptions, but I love writing with detail.
I realized that taking the time to write how I feel and what I do and share my photos carefully is my style, so writing a blog and send newsletter was something I enjoy.
There are many reasons I lost touch with writing my blog and sending newsletters.
Whatever the reason I have had, I just wanted to get it back on again and looking for my new path. I wish I could pick up where I left without any reservation, but in my case, I needed motivation.

I have been taking art classes from Santa Monica College Emeritus off and on for a while.  It took time after all the chemotherapy treatments, but when I got the strength back, I went back to retake Calligraphy class. I just did what I could,  so mostly nothing serious, and just for fun.

At the end of the last year, I found out that I may be able to enter my artwork for the Student Art Exhibition.  The exhibition was for spring 2020, and the due date was February 2020, so I wanted to try it even my artwork was chosen or not.

But I was going through another challenging time of PTSD (PTSD from my childhood and also near-death car crash, etc. ) at the beginning of the year, so I did not think I could put together my artwork. I am a turtle, so I am not a fast pace person to do anything. I need a decent time and focus for me to finish my artwork.

When I get PTSD, I have nightmares, and I am not able to do much nor go out nor talk to people. I also cry and get moody a lot and not able to focus.

Sanae with Leo IMG_0916

Photo: with my dog son, Leo

 

I was feeling disappointed at myself, and I was just about giving up on my artwork; I got lots of love support from my animal family, especially from Leo, who was one of my dog sons.
He had health conditions of nasal cancer for more than one year and also vestibular disease condition, which caused him not able to get up his own. Still, when I worked on my artwork, he wanted to be with me in my art room and stayed until I was satisfied to finish my artwork each time. That is how I was able to complete my artwork and submit it on time. I was not sure it was good enough for the Student Art Exhibition, but it did not matter because, in the end, I had fun creating and spend time with Leo. When I sent my artwork with an original frame I have asked to make. Leo smiled at me and he said, “Mommy, good job!”.

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Photo: with Keith of GRAYHORSE PICTURE FRAMING http://www.grayhorsepictureframing.com

Three weeks later, I found out that they chose my artwork. I was very thrilled and told Leo that because of him, my artwork would be at the Exhibition.

He said that he already knew it and he was delighted.

I got a big idea of making a plan to invite everyone who supported me for my recovery if they could come to the Student Art Exhibition opening reception in April.

I was so excited, but the pandemic happened, and the exhibition got cancel.

My big idea of seeing some of you in person and able to say “Thank you!” directly did not work.
I understand that so many people died and got sick.  Coronavirus pandemic has not solved yet, and still many people are going through so many challenges, and many other issues are coming to must change the last few months.
Many people are standing up valuable to move the country and the world toward a new normal a future better than the old dysfunctional “normal.”
I wish I could do more to help others, but my focus is to do my best to take care of myself to stay healthy and safe right now, and this is my contribution to others, and this is my new normal.

Leo departed on May 24th peacefully in his sleep.
I miss him a lot.
He taught me so much how to fulfill life, and he told me that “Mammy, just be,” which sometimes means being irritable, exciting, tired, sad, and worry.
It is all good because they are all of you, and deep down inside, you are happy and content no matter what.
He is continuously teaching me.

Soon after his departure, I received a letter about Santa Monica College Emeritus Student Art Exhibition will be Online.
Online means not only people who can come to the exhibition but anybody from all over the world can see my artwork and see my new path.

Wow!

I think Leo did it.

Emeritus art exhibition online. 150+ artworks on view by Emeritus students.

A live Zoom Launch Event — hosted by Emeritus Associate Dean Dr. Scott Silverman and Emeritus Gallery Curator Jesse Benson — was recorded when it was held on June 25.

Here are a link and info on how to see my artwork.

View the recorded Zoom event: Launch Event for Emeritus Student Art Exhibition 2020 Online

View Artwork and Artists: Emeritus Student Art Exhibition 2020 Online

 

In case you are not able to see this Online Exhibition, here is a photo of my artwork close up and detail.

My New Path only Lotus

Photo: Watercolor Hanga with lotus root

Title: My New Path

Medium: Watercolor and Sumi Ink

Size: 14″h x 11″w x 3/4″d
The frame is white birch and linen material (you see the bottom photo).

It is a simple watercolor of Hanga print with lotus root and Sumi ink calligraphy with my haiku poem. My aiming was “Zen modest state to find a new path to move forward”

 

My New Path only calligraphy

Photo: my haiku poem with Skim letters

The letter of calligraphy style is Akim.
(Akim is created by German calligrapher, sculptor, and musician, Hans-Joachim Burgert. This lovely, gentle hand that is said to replicate the rhythm of the human heart) I did not know how Akim was created at first when I started to use it for my calligraphy, but I felt so familiar and it is my favorite calligraphy letter. So I have been using it for my website cover and business card, etc.

I wrote this Haiku Poem for me and everyone to thrive and live a new path (new normal).

I hope you enjoy it and find your new path.

I am grateful to Leo, who gave me the motivation to start writing again.

Wait,
as I was just finishing writing this blog, I received an email from Santa Monica College Emeritus Student Art Exhibition organizer, Jesse Benson.

I can’t believe it.
I had to read a few times to understand the detail: he was asking me to speak at the Online Art Exhibition Opening Reception about my artwork on Thursday, June 25th.

There are over 90 artists and 161 artworks (students can submit up to 2 artworks) in the show.
I heard they only asked a few people to speak.

Is it true they choose me to speak about my artwork?
Amazingly, they want to hear what I did.

Leo must help me again.

My New Path by Sanae Suzuki

Photo: Complete my artwork of “My New Path” with the frame

Now I honestly want everyone to see my artwork; art is one of healing therapy that has been helping me to recover.
Please watch the Online Art Exhibition reception.

I want to finish writing my blog that I was able to finally write after over one year with gratitude for “My New Path!”

I am grateful, thank you from my heart!

Love,

Sanae ❤️

Kula’s 100th-Day Memorial

In Buddhist tradition, the 100th-day memorial is prominent after the 49th-day memorial. (I wrote about what we did for Kula for 49th-Day Memorial here)

650-kula-album

Kulas Albums with 214 photos in 84 pages.

 

We express our affection and gratitude to Kula—who departed on August 1, 2016—in a natural manifestation of untainted and pure emotion.         This is an occasion for sincere and deep reflection on life and death.

The 100th-day memorial is a time to sort out clothing and other items that belonged to the deceased and share them with others, sending gratitude to family and friends. After 100 days, you are supposed to stop crying.

 

I washed Kula’s collar, towels, and bed and gave them to other dogs.

I decided to send Kula’s 49th-day memorial cards—with my calligraphy and art envelopes—to family and friends who could not come.

That took time, but I completed!

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Sending Kula’s card with my calligraphy and art envelopes.

 

I feel Kula’s existence every day, but I felt it, even more, when I celebrated her 100th-day memorial. I practiced yoga felt Kula that morning so strongly and my tears came down as missing her…

 

We went to the beach restaurant where we used to go with Kula.

It was a warm day, even though it is November, so there was no parking by the beach. I called to Kula and asked her to find parking, and she gave us a perfect parking spot in a second. We knew Kula was an angle, but now she is also a parking angel!

kula-10days-sm-beach

Eric & Happy at the beach

We decided to take Happy along with us since Happy has received the most influence from Kula since they walked together everyday for a few years; we went to the water after dinner and called to Kula!

Kula loved the beach so much, and we went to the beach with her for many years…we felt that she was there enjoying herself even now.

We thank Kula for her life and memories.

 

650-plumeria

Kula’s favorite plumeria flowers are still blooming this year!

With love and Kula’s favorite plumeria flowers (even November they are still blooming this year),

Sanae💖